Greetings from the Tundra

Well, we moved to North Dakota two weeks ago.  Honestly, it is probably one of the last places I thought I would ever live.  Nothing could have prepared me for the cold short of spending a month in the freezer section of Costco.  But even that is warm compared to the weather here.  

Jon got a job working in the oil fields in September and I have been playing the single married mom since then.  I gained so much respect for single parents in those five months.  I have been through some really tough stuff in my life, but none of it could have prepared me for trying to raise a child with Jon 13 hours away.  Thank goodness for my parents living so close.  They were such a big help and really stepped in when I needed them.    

After five months of being apart, spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and my birthday away, we are finally back together.  I would be lying if I said I loved it here.  It is honestly the coldest place I have ever been.  Some days it doesn't get above 0 degrees.  Your hands get numb walking from the grocery store to the car.  We are renting a little two bedroom apartment until our house in Idaho sells.  It is a huge adjustment.  I have taken for granted having a washer and dryer, garage, and backyard.  We don't even have a disposal in the kitchen sink.  I didn't even know that was a thing to not have one.  

Even though life in the tundra is freezing cold, we are finally back together.  There is an awesome rec center that has a little waterpark and a daycare.  I get to work out while Oakley plays with other kids.  

I have had so many tender mercies these last two weeks.  Its funny how the smallest things can brighten my day.  Oakley has been a beast to get to bed...really since Jon left in September.  Her little world has been turned upside down and she is handling it fairly well, until bedtime comes.  The first couple of nights she didn't go down till eleven.  One particularly hard night I got a text from my cousin Andrew.  It came right at the very moment that I needed it.  Little things like this have been happening these last two weeks and I know that I am never truly alone.  No matter how cold and lonely life is right now, things will get better.  Spring will come, eventually, and we won't be cooped up forever.  And while we are, we always have the rec center.

Almost Two...

Well, I suppose it's time to restart the ol' blog.  I have had some thoughts lately that I need to write down and what better place to do it than on the internet, Right?  

My whole life I always knew that I wanted to be a mom.  When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up that was my answer.  Sure, I had the usual answers like veterinarian, zoo keeper, teacher, among many others, but Mom was always at the top of the list.  I have always loved kids and had this skewed idea that being a mom would be easyish.  As each day passes, I learn how wrong I was. 

When she was little, the hard part was well everything.  But looking back, I think "what was so hard about that?"  She wasn't mobile, her only food option was formula, she slept a lot, and people understood if I was in my sweats all day long.

Now, little Miss Bea is almost two.  I am having a hard time coping that I am old enough to have a two year old. She is my greatest joy, but at the same time, a huge source of stress.  Don't get me wrong, I would not change a thing, not even the tantrums that she throws in the middle of Home Depot that cause dirty looks from everyone around.  My house is always a mess and some days I don't get ready till two in the afternoon.  

I look at other mom's blogs and their seemingly perfect lives and it's hard to not wonder where I am going wrong.  Then I realize that we all try and portray ourselves as perfect to others and that we are our own worst critics.  Try as I might, I will probably never be that mom who has piles of scrapbooks of their kids.  I will most likely not have the dishes done and house clean before I go to bed.  And I am going to have to be okay with it.  Tantrums will happen and I just have to learn to deal with it.  

What I have learned in the last two years are this:

      Don't judge moms whose kids are acting up at the store.  

      Dirty dishes can wait.  Making memories with your kids can't.  Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to have the perfect life that we miss out of the important things in life.

      Don't get mad, get the camera.  This is something my mother-in-law taught me and I have been trying to take her advice.  

      Kids grow up fast!  I can't believe that my baby is almost two!  It seems like just yesterday she was scooting around.  Now she is learning how to count and running around. 

     Document the important milestones.  I am so glad that I have tons of videos and pictures of every little thing!

Well, these were just the random thoughts that I have been having lately.  Hopefully they make any sense.

My little hipster

Ok, so it's been a while...quite a while. Oakley is going to be one on the 31st. I can't even believe it. She is the best baby a mom could ask for. She is almost always happy and keeps us laughing. Some of her favorite things include scooting...not crawling...around the house spreading stuff everywhere. She loves getting things she knows she shouldn't have and scooting away from me as fast as she can, laughing all the way. She gets this look like, this is so much fun isn't it? She is pretty good at entertaining herself, which is nice when I need to actually get stuff done.

I have been working a lot and feel like I have missed out on a lot of her last year. I spend every spare minute with her and my house has the mess to prove it. Why would I clean when I could spend time with my favorite scooter? She also has a strange obsession with the dirty clothes. She gets them out of her hamper and carries them around, something that she could not do if she crawled. She always has her hands full of something. She loves reading books by herself. She will just sit and turn the pages. Whenever she hears a bass line her little body starts bobbing up and down. It is the funniest thing.

She is our jeep girl. Pretty sure Jon will have her driving one in no time. We go on a jeep ride almost every saturday and she just sits in the back seat with the dog loving life. Most of the time she will fall asleep with her head bobbing around. It must have been all the jeep rides we took while I was pregnant.

Kindred Spirits

Last weekend we took our 4th annual girls trip. This year we went to California to get a 5 generation photo with my great grandma. Grandma Bea just turned 104 in May. She is the reason Oakley is Oakley Bea. We thought it very appropriate that the two met. Grandma Bea is very healthy physically. She only takes one pill a day, but her mind is not all there. It was so cute to watch her with Oakley. All her mothering instincts came back as Oakley sat on her lap. She would pull her up if she was slipping and the two of them had this soul to soul connection. It was so awesome to watch! We got a lot of good pictures while we were there. Here are some of my favorites.

Back to work

I went back to work last Monday. I am just working for the next month for four hours in the mornings. This means a little more cash, but unfortunately I have to leave this every morning. My mom gets to watch her, which she loves, but I have a very hard time leaving her every day.

Last night we were doing tummy time and next thing I knew she was on her back. She rolled over!! It was the first time I had seen her do this, but I'm pretty sure my mom had seen it before. I hate missing out on these things.

She has been laughing lately. It is the cutest thing! She has this really deep belly laugh that is super contagious. And then when I start laughing she laughs even more. I just LOVE this little peanut!!

Sounds of Summer

Last weekend we went to Utah for the Fourth. Oakley loved seeing her grandparents and uncles. She told lots of stories and shared lots of smiles.
Her new favorite thing is her hands. She loves to suck on them and just stare at them. She just started grabbing things this week. She will play with her blanket and anything else she can grab. She has also found her feet. She lays on her back and pulls her legs up and grabs onto her feet. It is so funny!



She also loves the pool! We have been over to my parent's pool with her a few times and she absolutely LOVES it! She loves watching the big boys play basketball while sitting with me or Jon in the shallow.

Two Months

Today I took the peanut for her two month appointment. She is in the 75th percentile for everything, which is good because last time she was in the 25th for weight. She now weighs 10 lbs 13 oz. Her little legs are starting to get rolls! It is so cute!! Dr. Jones is the best pediatrician ever! He sang to her and she totally loves him!
She has a bit of a flat head, I guess from being in her car seat too much. Sometimes it's the only thing that calms her down. Dr Jones said to put her on her tummy more. She HATES tummy time!! But I think she will hate having a flat head even more, so there is going to be some screaming coming from our house for a while.
She had her shots today which was probably the saddest thing I have ever experienced. She was so happy and talking to the nurse and as soon as she poked her, Oakley started screaming and looked up at me like, why? I wanted to cry along with her. It was terrible!
I can't believe that she is already two months old!